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Facebook Girl
Shoot man, lemme log up in here right quick…see if she wrote me back.
No new messages! Dawg…she trifflin!
Verse 1
When I get online, I log into Facebook, click on your profile and I take a look.
I friended you over three days ago, but when I see if you accepted it still says no.
I check out your mini-feed as I scroll and I’m about to read your brand new note.
It’s not about me or people I know, yeah I can creep just like a pro.
You got a thousand pictures, I can’t stop lookin. It’s all I ever do, when I’m facebookin.
Invited you to be in all my applications: Bumper Sticker, Mob Wars, and Reverb Nation.
She’s the finest thang, yes, yes sir, I got more friends than Mark Zuckerberg.
But when I went out, I saw you real quick. Girl, you looked better in your profile pic.
Chorus
I poke you, and you never poke back. And when you’re online you don’t never wanna chat. I just wanna get inside your world, come on now, you’re my facebook girl.
I poke her, and she always pokes back. And when she’s online she always wanna chat. I am all inside her world, come on now, she’s my facebook girl.
Verse 2
My name is Steve, first name Stalker. I’m smooth with the keys but I’m a bad talker.
See I’ve never had a girl, my bed has no miles, I spend alotta time just checkin out profiles on Facebook.
Til I find a pretty face, a dime, a nine or sometimes a pretty eight.
Last week I was checkin out my news-feed, saw a picture of a cutie lookin too sweet.
She was a friend of a friend of this other dude that I think I met at a party through this other dude.
Started readin bout her interests, checkin out her pictures, observin her from a distance…YEAH!
So I decided to make my move and I invited her to dinner at a place I knew.
She didn’t write me back but I stay on que, to do it all again like déjà vu.
Chorus
I poke you, and you never poke back. And when I’m online you don’t never wanna chat. I just wanna get inside your world, come on now, you’re my Facebook girl.
I saw her first, you better stay clear.
Yeah right, I’ve been stalking this girl for a year.
But nevermind that, dude look who’s here.
Not that fool – he’s so weird!
Verse 3
Poke me, I poke you, too. Errrr!!! I aint bout to join your group.
Gettin app invites, tellin me I’m a hottie, but girl I know this. Get off me!
And your girl keeps pokin at my pic she looks, and I’ma poke her right back, but I ain’t usin Facebook.
Believe me it’s easy, peep ye my mini-feed, more sweeties than be feet on a centipede.
I need a remedy to get rid of these Tiffanys, Sashas, Penelopes and Emilys.
Your little sis is sendin me friend requests madly, but girl I don’t know you. Dont add me!
I treat em badly, I treat em grizzly, they’re like, "What’s wrong with him? Who is he!?"
Who am I? Gee, thanks for asking. Elite grand master Dungeons and Dragons.
Chorus
I poke you, and you never poke back. And when I’m online you don’t never wanna chat. I just wanna get inside your world, come on now, you’re my facebook girl.
I poke you, and you never poke back. And when you’re online you don’t never wanna chat. I just wanna get inside your world, come on now, you’re my facebook girl.
Hey, like I told Steve, this girl’s taken.
I think you better leave, but he’s mistaken.
That may be true, but so are you kid.
Dungeons and Dragons?
Dawg that’s stupid!
Whatchu talkin bout dude, she don’t like you.
You still play World of Warcraft, like I used to.
Hate all you want, but you know I’m the bomb.
False. You still live at home with your mom.
Crap!
What?
Take a look at this!
My facebook girl!?
Relationship!?
Now we’re done!
Now we’re screwed!
Now there’s only one thing we can do!
Kill her boyfriend!
No that’s rude.
Log into Facebook.
Find someone new!
I like where your head’s at.
Yeah me too.
We can work together.
We can be a crew.
Facebook stalkers.
True.
True.
Wait, who’s next?
YOU!
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